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I believe in tragedy.
I saw the boy in Paris. the one who was so beautiful, he made summer… 
6th-Jul-2008 11:49 pm
I saw the boy in Paris. the one who was so beautiful, he made summer days look ugly. the one who stole my heart inadvertently at a house-party - he stood there so gorgeous and quiet like a drunk rockstar.
we met at a carrousel near my hotel. we sat at the terrace of a café, watched the people walking by. I was nervously twisting and untwisting my straw. I was scared of losing. I still am. his heart is so far away. I wish it could just be solved with a phone call and a smile and me dropping everything and moving to paris and starting over - again - because I'd really like to, not because of him, but because vienna scares me. the darkness of the waters and the depths at which I drown in bars. I don't want a knight in shining armour but a traveller with dark eyes and his cute nose and messy hair.

C wrote my name in the toilets of their venue in vienna and wrote me a card from tour. he drew an owl so punkrock and cute, my heart just jumped when i found it in our new mailbox but, so what? he's just a boy and when I met him I was weak.
I am going to a lot of barbecues reading a lot of books writing postcards longer than my autobiography and meeting boys at people's houses and discussing music with older more experienced kids..I'm drifting. I want someone to hug,
I can't wait to see panda in september.
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